What Love and Relationships Are Made Of

Pg 310 #1

If we hold the view that things such as love and relationships are greatly affected by chemistry and biology, then our opinions would probably change quite drastically. Whether as whole this would be viewed as good or bad is unknown to me at this moment. Of course if people view love and relationships like this, everyone would be affected differently, as never will everyone have the same opinion regardless of what the question is. Even though everyone won’t draw the same conclusion from this, I think almost everyone will be effected and have their viewpoint on love and relationships will be tweaked somehow.

If people find out that what they are feeling is literarily part of who they are, maybe they would be more willing to act on their desires. People are often afraid to act on their feelings specifically dealing with physical attraction and falling in love. They don’t realize it’s not only something that is going on consciously in their mind, but it also something that is being affected by the chemistry in their brains.  Oxytocain is a good example of a hormone that comes from chemistry, it helps us develops feelings for someone often in a romantic sense. If people have the idea that things like Oxytocain are what’s causing their emotions, there may be a lot of things that don’t seem as “mystical” as they were before. In Fisher’s article she says   “perhaps love at first sight is no more than an inborn tendency in many creatures that evolved to spur the mating process”, I think this really suggests that humans sometimes have feelings for someone the first time they see them because something in their unconscious mind tells them to mate. If people started to have this idea there may be less willing to act on their feelings, specifically for the long term.

If people view love and relationships as something that is just  biology and chemistry, then things such as courtship could be made out to be not as big of a deal. Fisher quotes Dorothy Tennov on how long infatuation with someone else lasts she says “ the most frequent interval, as well as the average, is between approximately 18 months and three years.” This fact would greatly affect people who have just slight suspicions that they no longer love someone as much as they once did. Also I think with this point of view people are more likely to just give up on marriage, even though things such as counseling have been shown to help marriages and get those who were on track for divorce, back to the way they were. I can relate to this, as I’m less likely to pursue something or do something, if I am told that there will be nothing to gain from it or there will eventually no longer be a point.

Overall I believe there would be a negative effect on most of what is involved in this idea. If people don’t have the sense of mysteriousness in how they feel about people and instead they start to see love in a more scientific way, they make assumptions that what they are thinking is predictable and they will try to guess their feelings. They will do this whether or not the chemistry of their brain is telling them to stay with someone or not, or even worse they will go against what their conscious feelings are telling them. I think this view is a bad alternative to people going on what their heart is telling them about someone.